


Self-Ish

by Restekel



Category: The Last Kids on Earth (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Character Study, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27904183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Restekel/pseuds/Restekel
Summary: A quick look on Jacks thoughts about familyA fic based off the songs Self-Ish
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This quickly popped into my head and took me an hour to write, I have no idea what I've done, or what I wrote.
> 
> Anyways this fic is based off the songs Self- and -Ish by Will Wood, I would 100% recommend listening to them, and the whole album, his songs have helped me through thick and thin.
> 
> The italicized sentences are the song.

_I'll shake the apples from my family tree  
So when the autumn comes to take the leaves  
We'll write history books from memory  
That we shared and will forget_

Jack doesn't have many memories of his family, his parents faces have become a blur to him, he doesn't even have a photo of them from when they were... happier.

All he has are feelings of moms pancakes, and dads hugs before work, he can't decipher the day those disappeared long before his parents did.

He was angry at them for years, leaving him alone one night and never coming back. Being found in his backyard by a neighbour eight days later.

It was if they had vanished, at least they vanished from his life.

_No, I don't remember 2012  
But I heard the world would turn to hell   
But compared to that, well I'm doing well   
So I pray to God it really did_

The faces of each foster family blurred together as he moved from home to home. Each one abandoning him when they realize the trouble he actually is.

It's better to make them hate you than to have your spirits let down.

It's what he tells himself for each family, he learns after number four that nobody is going to want him around for being himself. Jack finds it easier to self-sacrifice the connection of a new family, it hurts less when they give him up again.

Its hell not being able to make friends or any kind of acquaintance with anybody, but Jack can live with it, he'll be out of the system one day.

_Well they always ask you not to leave  
And I am as they remember me  
So when all my friends forget my name  
No, I won't come back and be the same_

Jack's certain that his 'friends' from the schools he attended forgot about him the moment he left, he's fine with that- It's not like they were close- but he still yearns for someone who wants him around.

He's got no choice in where he ends up, he's still apart of the state, he follows their orders, and packs up each time they tell him to pack up.

It's not their fault that his parents didn't want him, it's not their fault that he has abandonment issues. Jack blames himself for his parents leaving, family number six enforces that he was always a nuisance, someone who's parents were lucky to get out of his life early.

He believes the lies.

_No, I won't come back and be the same_  
And I'm gonna be my self again


	2. Chapter 2

_Well if winter comes and takes my life_

_Will it be the death I had in mind?  
Or will I be captured in the ice  
To preserve the way I died?_

It's official, the apocalypse happened. Jack has no idea how he's managed to survive through the first few days when every person he runs into seems to be undead.

He thought he was lonely before, but now... Now the thoughts of being the last person ever consumes him. He lays on the floor looking up at the ceiling of the treehouse he's been stuck in for the past week, too afraid to leave, too afraid to see someone he cares about as a zombie.

It's cold at night. The treehouse might not the best place to be holed up in. But it's high, and able to keep Jack safe. He huddles in the corner at night with all the blankets and hoodies that his last foster brother left behind. 

It's enough.

_Well at 27 will I see?  
That I was born to be the man I'll be  
And if I change my self can I still stay me?  
Or did I just change my mind?_

Jack finally has a family, they might not be the people he had in mind, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. Unfortunately the world has a way of kicking him down when he finds something great. 

He's just going to be passed over again when they find other people, it's just the way his life works. 

He tries his hardest to keep his rag tag group from fixing the radio, but... it's hurting them, he can't keep them from their families forever.

This is exactly what he was trying to prevent for all those years, he shouldn't have gotten close again.

_I am a point in time and space  
And I am the truths that I create  
And so where my matter takes its stand  
No it doesn't matter who I am_

Rezzoch attempts to take over his mind, she uses his fear of losing his family against him, he fights but knows that he's going to lose.

He's going to lose everything.

And that hurts more than the pain of Rezzoch taking over, he won't let them leave him again... But he has no choice in the matter.

Is he being selfish for wanting a family?

The relief when they come to help him in the fight outweighs all the doubts he had about them leaving, he's able to push Rezzoch from his mind, and from their town.

As the Scrapkin pulls the destroyer of worlds down into the trash, he knows that they're all going to be alright.

He won't lose them anytime soon.

_And I'm gonna be_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed?
> 
> Comments and Kudos make my day.
> 
> Might delete later, idk


End file.
